- "We must use time wisely and forever realize that the time is always ripe to do right. Nelson Mandela
- "I detest racialism, because I regard it as a barbaric thing, whether it comes from a black man or a white man.” – Nelson Mandela
- "I dream of an Africa which is in peace with itself.” – Nelson Mandela
- "The sun never set on so glorious a human achievement.” – Nelson Mandela
- "Education is themost powerful weapon which you can use to change the world." – Nelson Mandela
- "You I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.” – Nelson Mandela
- "A good head and a good heart are always a formidable combination.” – Nelson Mandela
- "Always It is better to lead from behind and to put others in front, especially when you celebrate victory when nice things occur. You take the front line when there is danger. Then people will appreciate your leadership.” – Nelson Mandela
- "If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his language, that goes to his heart.” – Nelson Mandela
- "Any man or institution that tries to rob me of my dignity will lose.” – Nelson Mandela
- "For to be free is not merely to cast off one’s chains, but to live in a way that respects and enhances the freedom of others.” – Nelson Mandela
- "There is no passion to be found playing small – in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living.” – Nelson Mandela
- "It always seems impossible until its done.” – Nelson Mandela
- "There is no easy walk to freedom anywhere, and many of us will have to pass through the valley of the shadow of death again and again before we reach the mountaintop of our desires.” – Nelson Mandela
- "There can be no keener revelation of a society’s soul than the way in which it treats its children.” – Nelson Mandela
- In my country we go to prison first and then become President. Nelson Mandela
Rest has finally come…
Goodbye to an icon…
(CNN) — Nelson Mandela, the revered statesman who emerged from prison after 27 years to lead South Africa out of decades of apartheid, has died, South African President Jacob Zuma announced late Thursday.
Mandela was 95.
“He is now resting. He is now at peace,” Zuma said. “Our nation has lost its greatest son. Our people have lost a father.”
More information on CNN: http://edition.cnn.com/2013/12/05/world/africa/nelson-mandela/index.html?hpt=hp_t1
#Madiba, #RIP #NelsonMandela #46664 #freedom
- Nelson Mandela, former president of South Africa, anti-apartheid icon and legendary leader dies (relationshipsdomatter.com)
There is a prominent line in the film, ‘the devil’s advocate’, where Al Pacino who stars as the devil says, ‘Vanity, my favorite sin.’ I remember being struck by that line because if there is one thing that could lure me into a lie, it would be vanity. I know it’s there when I find a poignant quote and struggle to admit it wasn’t I who came up with it.
The 11th thing my true love said to me is – Give me (GOD) the glory.
There is the story of the chef who was trying to get a wealthy lady to use his services as a personal chef. He tried everything from, ‘you could invite your book club over for a party’ to ‘you wouldn’t need to lift a finger’ but she wouldn’t budge. However, when he said, ‘you could tell everyone you cooked the food’, she was sold.
We love to take the credit but the truth be told, there is no one who should be taking the credit but God. There is no doubt that people have paid their dues and put in their hard work but at the end of the day God is responsible for the air in their lungs. Even if you don’t believe in God, you have to know that each day is a gift and you have no power to dictate whether you get to see the next day or not. So why do we boast? We can do nothing on our own.
“Whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.” 1 Corinthians 10:31
Examples of where we can give him glory:
- You take time to rest and have lots of ‘me’ time – Only God can give you rest
- You come into his presence daily – It is by Grace that we enter his presence and not by our own works.
- You eat healthy and take care of your body – Only someone who is alive can do that and you are most certainly not responsible for that.
I believe it is paramount especially when we begin to think we have arrived to remember that there is nothing we have that we have not received.
So I wish you all success in your endeavors but remember to do it to the glory of God from whom all blessings flow.
- Sabine Adeyinka is a wife, mother and an entrepreneur.
If I am out of place, my woman is vulnerable. If she is out of place, I become exposed. So are you vulnerable or exposed ? Get back into your place, TODAY. HURRY at least one life is dependent on it.
God is love. When we take up permanent residence in a life of love, we live in God and God lives in us. This way, love has the run of the house, becomes at home and mature in us, so that we’re free of worry on Judgment Day—our standing in the world is identical with Christ’s.
There is no room in love for fear. Well-formed love banishes fear. Since fear is crippling, a fearful life—fear of death, fear of judgment—is one not yet fully formed in love. (1 John 4:17, 18 MSG)
"Nobody raises his own reputation by lowering others" – Anonymous
Mary SchmichChicago Tribune
Inside every adult lurks a graduation speaker dying to get out, some world-weary pundit eager to pontificate on life to young people who’d rather be Rollerblading. Most of us, alas, will never be invited to sow our words of wisdom among an audience of caps and gowns, but there’s no reason we can’t entertain ourselves by composing a Guide to Life for Graduates.
I encourage anyone over 26 to try this and thank you for indulging my attempt.Ladies and gentlemen of the class of ’97:
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.
Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they’ve faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you’ll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.
Don’t worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4 p.m. on some idle Tuesday.
Do one thing every day that scares you.
Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts. Don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours.
Don’t waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind. The race is long and, in the end, it’s only with yourself.
Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.
Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.
Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don’t.
Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You’ll miss them when they’re gone.
Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t. Maybe you’ll have children, maybe you won’t. Maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don’t congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else’s.
Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don’t be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own.
Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.
Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them.
Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.
Get to know your parents. You never know when they’ll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. They’re your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.
Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.
Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft. Travel.
Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you’ll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.
Respect your elders.
Don’t expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you’ll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out.
Don’t mess too much with your hair or by the time you’re 40 it will look 85.
Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it’s worth.
But trust me on the sunscreen.
- Mary Schmich
Article originally posted here: http://my.chicagotribune.com/#section/-1/article/p2p-46894045/
Dear Relationships Do Matter
Family & Friends,
Wishing you and yours a Happy Thanksgiving!
Today, please thank God for all your relationships especially those closest to you. Sometimes, those closest to us are often the ones we ignore the most. Don’t neglect them, please reach out, call, make contact and restore broken relationships. The gift of relationships can not be taken for granted and we are very grateful for your follower ship, readership, partnership, support and much more which have really empowered, strengthened, encouraged us here at RDM to continue our work of making Relationships Matter.
Without you, there is no Us. As you spend time with family and friends, may the joy of the Lord, continue to be your strength, Amen.
With love from your RDM family,
#thankful #grateful #thanksgiving
It’s Thanksgiving Tuesday and here’s another thought provoking and insightful article from the Washington Post. This isn’t your typical, linear or easily resolved conversation or piece so if you are easily offended or disturbed by such stories stop reading now. Some, who struggle find no easy outlet because sometimes the public response seeks only to mask the issue and not necessarily fix and address appropriately. This story reaches deep, captures one’s attention, highlights tensions and forces the conversation towards GRACE. Honestly, this is a story that really amplifies the need for Grace and also reminds me of the amazing description of Jesus in Matt 12:20, "He will not crush the weakest reed or put out a flickering candle. Finally he will cause justice to be victorious."
Here are some challenges posed by the writer from her experience, true or not there are excellent starting points for a debate.
- I am beginning to realize how little the churches of which I have been a part have taught me about the beauty of boundaries and the reality of fine lines. No one really wants to talk about the normalcy of temptation and how, if unacknowledged, it can lead to behavior that goes against what is life giving, what is of God.
- I get it now in a way I haven’t before; how temptation can slip slowly from shiny surfaces into the sin of unfaithfulness and undisciplined desire, from things that look good and usually are good, in the beginning. But no one talks about how to keep your balance on the slippery slope. No one wants to talk about it till everyone has slid right off.
- Then every pastor, priest, and prophet begins to preach about Eve and Delilah, biblical women culturally synonymous with the evils of temptation and the fall of men.
- I know the whole cultural conversation around “Can men and women be friends?” is as old as can be. So many evangelical-minded Christians have such firm opinions on the issue, mostly that it’s not possible or wise. But no one really talks in a healthy, reflective way about the real point of the issue: how to deal with sexual temptation in platonic relationships between heterosexual men and women.
Read the article, here. Faith and Feminism: Excerpt from ‘Talking Taboo’ examines sexual temptation. and if you need help, do not hesitate to contact or reach out (click here).
Remember, Relationships Do Matter
Scriptural Reference: New Living Translation Version
A dear friend shared this article with me today and was very encouraged by it. Here’s hoping you find it inspirational.
Background: "After too many years of unfulfilled work, Bronnie Ware began searching for a job with heart. Despite having no formal qualifications or experience, she found herself working in palliative care. Over the years she spent tending to the needs of those who were dying, Bronnie’s life was transformed.
Later, she wrote an Internet blog about the most common regrets expressed to her by the people she had cared for. The article, also called The Top Five Regrets of the Dying, gained so much momentum that it was read by more than three million people around the globe in its first year.
This article captures the essence of our name – RELATIONSHIPS DO MATTER, hope you enjoy reading this article and I challenge you to make a conscious effort to live meaningfully whilst you have the chance, today.
Top Five Regrets
A palliative nurse recorded the most common regrets of the dying and put her findings into a book called "The Top Five Regrets of The Dying." It’s not surprising to see what made the list as they are all things that touch each of our lives as we struggle to pay attention to and make time for things that we truly love. Below is the list of each regret along with an excerpt from the book. At the bottom is also a link to the book for anyone interested in checking it out.
One thing on regret before we get to the list. It’s important to remember that whatever stage we are at in life, there is no need for regret. The process of regret is one that provides nothing but suffering for ourselves as we begin to allow the past to dictate how we should feel now. Instead, we can use the past as a reference point to understand what adjustments we would like to make moving forward. The adjustments do not have to come out of pain, sorrow, regret or judgment, but simply a choice to do things in a different way. We are learning all the time, we can very quickly slow that learning process down by getting stuck in the idea of regret. When it comes to making changes, be at peace with the past and remember that each moment is a new choice.
1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
“This was the most common regret of all. When people realize that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honored even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made. Health brings a freedom very few realize, until they no longer have it.”
2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.
“This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship. Women also spoke of this regret, but as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.”
3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
“Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.”
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
“Often they would not truly realize the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.”
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.
”This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realize until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content, when deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again.”
Bronnie Ware has had a colourful and diverse past, but by applying the lessons of those nearing their death to her own life, she developed an understanding that it is possible for people, if they make the right choices, to die with peace of mind. In this book, she expresses in a heartfelt retelling how significant these top five regrets are, and how we can positively address these issues while we still have the time. The Top Five Regrets of the Dying gives hope for a better world.
It is a story told through sharing her inspiring and honest journey, which will leave you feeling kinder towards yourself and others, and more determined to live the life you are truly here to live. This delightful memoir is a courageous, life-changing book.
- “Ask not what your country can do for you; ask what you can do for your country.” ― John F. Kennedy
- “The Chinese use two brush strokes to write the word ‘crisis.’ One brush stroke stands for danger; the other for opportunity. In a crisis, be aware of the danger–but recognize the opportunity.” ― John F. Kennedy
- “Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.” ― John F. Kennedy
- “The rights of every man are diminished when the rights of one man are threatened.” ― John F. Kennedy
- “We must find time to stop and thank the people who make a difference in our lives.” ― John F. Kennedy
- “Those who make peaceful revolution impossible will make violent revolution inevitable.” (1962)” ― John F. Kennedy
- “Too often we enjoy the comfort of opinion without the discomfort of thought.” ― John F. Kennedy
- “Conformity is the jailer of freedom and the enemy of growth.” ― John F. Kennedy
- “As we express our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not to utter words, but to live by them.” ― John F. Kennedy
- “Victory has a thousand fathers, but defeat is an orphan.” ― John F. Kennedy
- “Leadership and learning are indispensable to each other.” ― John F. Kennedy
- “Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future. “ – John F. Kennedy
Image: Tom Pennington:Getty
On the morning of her birthday, he got her up bright and early and off they went to a local theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park: the Death Slide, the Screaming Loop and the Wall of Fear–everything there was! Wow!
Five hours later she staggered out of the theme park, her head reeling and her stomach upside down. Right to McDonald’s they went, where her husband ordered her a Big Mac along with extra fries and a refreshing chocolate shake. Then it was off to a movie – the latest Star Wars epic, and hot dogs, popcorn, Pepsi Cola, and M & Ms. What a fabulous adventure!
Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed. He leaned over and lovingly asked, ”Well, dear, what was it like being six again?” One eye opened. The wife said, “You idiot, I meant my dress size!” The moral of this story is: If a woman speaks and a man is actually listening, he “might” still get it wrong. So make sure you understand what you hear.
Thank God it’s Friday!
An interesting research on a popular topic discussed on the RDM Forum before. The idea or concept of "taking out the competition" is interesting.
"The researchers suggested the reactions of the subjects—which were almost unilaterally negative—offered further proof that women, particularly adolescents and young women, try to take down other women they perceive as rivals for male attention, in order to "eliminate the competition." The results also offered additional evidence, they argued, of the notion that the more attractive a woman is the more likely she is to be a target for contempt."
Remember make people better not bitter.
The Musings of a Senior Lady – Part 2
Having to leave in a hurry that morning, denied me the pleasure of reading my morning devotionals. I rushed into the bath, then rushed out of the house in mismatched clothes. Can you imagine teaming a purple blouse with a red skirt? God have mercy. Lol
Getting to work did nothing to ease the stress. Almost as soon as I arrived, I was presented with a wedding invitation. A second cousin, on my mother’s side – a 21 year-old cousin – is about to tie the nuptial knot. Whoa! What is this world turning into? When ladies like me in my late 40s, are still looking for good men to settle down with, some girls are in a hurry to fly down the aisle. Well, I don’t blame them …
To add insult to my injury, shortly before I left the office, my mother called to confirm the receipt of the invitation and also to inform me that she had paid for the aso ebi on my behalf … without my permission. Just because the bride is a cousin twice removed! Oh, what a day!
Two & a half months later, my mother, siblings and some other relatives sat in my living-room as they waited for the make-up artist I paid for, to get them ready for the wedding. I hadn’t known that so many people could fit into my house! The ooh-ing and aah-ing over the different eye and lip colors, and the tying of the geles seemed to go on forever. Finally, everyone felt they were fine enough to start heading for the wedding venue. Just before we left, I went into the only quiet part of my tiny duplex – my bathroom. If anyone noticed, they didn’t say anything. They must have thought I went to give myself a final check in the bathroom mirror. But, in there, I knelt on the floor and prayed to God – I asked Him that the next wedding I will be attending would be my own. It just had to be! Here I was, being forced to go along with my siblings and their families … but I know sha, that I serve a living God.
At the wedding reception, I rejoiced and danced like no-one was watching. I felt the peace of God enveloping me, despite the fact that I could feel the eyes of some of my distant relatives on me. I chose to have fun and simply enjoy the merriment, regardless. After all I should be immune to different questions and stares from relatives and even total strangers, by now. Questions like “Where is your first-born?”, “How come oga didn’t come along with you?” or “Oh! Don’t tell me you are still searching?”
A few hours into the occasion, I looked around the reception-hall. I knew there were people looking at me, but I could feel that there was a specific someone who had his eyes on me. I could feel his stare as those eyes followed me around. So, I turned around to see who it was. I could not believe my eyes – my former neighbor. The recognition was instant. This was the first boy who ever asked me out. Well, he was now a man, but he used to be the boy who competed with me during our primary school days. He came over to me, and hugged me. We were both shouting, to make ourselves heard above the noise in the reception-hall. After a few minutes, we left the hall. Outside, we caught up really good. He told me how he had been overseas, and had to come home in search of a good wife. He asked about my family and I informed him of my predicament. Before we parted, we shared a hug, and promised to keep in touch.
That night, as I lay in my empty bed, I pinched myself. Could it be that God had finally answered my prayers? Keeping my fingers crossed …
Written by: Ibukun Ogunsina, a RDM Contributor. IBK is married with kids and based in Canada. Her other works can be found here: